Insecure Pride; I Will Become Even More Undignified Than This!

I almost didn’t make it to prayer meeting. As the day lingered on I fell into despair. My website calmcrash.com renewal came up and I didn’t have the money. I wanted to drown my sorrows. I have been overwhelmed by all the negativity from social media that I wanted to throw in the towel again.

That is it I’m done! I don’t care about anything anymore! I’m going to shut down. I don’t care if I have to go to a dessert or forest for 6 months I am not leaving until I hear HIS voice again!

This was caused by me buying into doubt, a lie, from religious attacks on social media that drove a wedge between my personal relationship with God. I was recently healed in that area. Here is what happened that mended that not too long ago. It truly is the sword:

On my way their, I was speaking to a friend over the phone about how I wanted to revamp my website calmcrash.com to precisely separate fact from speculation as Josh Peck facebook.com/josh.peck.5264 advised, which he does with his books. sharpeningreport.com/paperback-books and as I learned from Lawrence McCurry. facebook.com/lawrence.mccurry

I also want to reserve the right to be wrong as Chris Parker does.  facebook.com/s8intcom It also shows humility which is m favorite quality, making use of a retraction page. s8int.com I’d also like to keep my books in a free format as Rob Skiba facebook.com/robskiba does babylonrisingblog.com, videos not copyrighted youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6-cVj-ZRivqXevIRaH8LK6kLBWN1T7c7 as Kent Hovind facebook.com/kenthovindofficial and accessed from YouTube as Trey Smith does. youtube.com/user/treysmithnutshell

When I arrived some people were talking about similar issues and how to deal with the conflict with brothers and sisters. Some times its better to remain quiet. There are no coincidences!

I stepped on a few toes and stated that I was wrong, I fell into sin. I also broke my Matthew 18-15-17 rule. Never confront anyone through impersonal, misconstrued, textual, mistranslations. Only confront or apologize by phone for tone of voice minimum or something like Skype etc which is even better. Body language speaks volumes.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18:15-17

A week ago God told me lovingly with conviction as HE can only do that I was actually building Satan’s Army when in conflict & I have completely seen that unfold on social media. Like Atoms colliding, strife bouncing from 1 to the next interaction, and the next. All as if playing tag where everyone is it! Passing off an infectious virus, a pyramid of domino’s into confusion, frustration, anger and utter chaos, where everyone looses except the enemy.


As everyone shared, it reminded me of an incident where I was attacked recently in my home. As the individual went off on me, 1 after the other, after the other, God told me to be quiet and so I did. I hung my head and stared at the ground.

After 15 minutes of condescending and ridicule, I looked up, and when I did he showed me not who I was fighting but what I was fighting!
http://biblehub.com/ephesians/6-12.htm

The eyes were glaring yellow blazing as they were talking. Their was a dark cloud surrounding them. I could see this person was being controlled like a puppet from a great force behind and high above them.


The second I noticed what in reality was going on, the entity dropped their jaw and was taken back like a deer in headlights.

It was in complete shock as if it had blown it’s cover. Then the individuals composure completely changed and sank in the seat back to normal as if transferring personalities between 2 individuals. It hit me instantly, this is what I have been fighting for 15 years?!


I learned an excellent lesson there. If I listen to Abbas’s Spirit I can avoid my flesh. Time to put this lesson into practice.
biblehub.com/proverbs/17-27.htm

I had several confirmations before regarding a Jezebel Spirit as well.
https://calmcrash.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/satanic-attack-sleep-paralysis-jezebel-new-age-witchcraft-legal-rights/

I recalled earlier where I had spoken to a different friend and they gave me words about whispers into the ears of my household, dark clouds and staring off at the floor, which by the way was happening as I was in the phone! I began to take notice as this went on with these interactions every single time . I had confirmation recently when someone left the house. God told me to pray so I did. I asked God for confirmation about it. As soon as they returned they conveyed to me what had just happened.

Later at another meeting they all prayed for me and bound the attacks against the demonic spirits from it entering my household again.

After prayer meeting Jim Paul facebook.com/JamesGPaul on the way out heard God speaking to him & said their were 4 Principalities over my house that were laughing hysterically and proud about me getting kicked out of my house. They planned on doing it again. He also said they were attached to 4 people. BINGO! I love confirmation.

The next visit, they never even crossed the threshold, only to stand in the doorway!

I brought up an issue that was happening to a friend of mine Jennifer Yeingst. facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004812335725 My bro Rick Hummer facebook.com/rick.hummer.1 also mentioned this type of thing in our conversation. It literally happened on the phone and shocked the both of us because we both heard this spirit.

Jim mentioned about an entity that can manipulate conversations, Leviathan? I can’t recall what it’s name was. This thing actually completely alters the conversation so that it is not even close to what you said. I highly suggest binding the enemy before any confrontations!

OK, so as I read this all these, arguments on social media are going through my mind. 1 example is something that happened recently in a thread of mine. I felt I was to walk away. I did for a time being but unfortunately came back. 1 of my friends called it right away and mentioned an “Orphan Spirit”.

The next time we got together for fellowship they prayed for me and how to respond to people as God gave them a word about “Orphan Spirits”. Love is what they needed in their own lives. I love confirmation! WOW God is so good!

(*Enter video evidence link here when it is loaded to Eastgate Fellowship)

We then began to pray after sharing and what happened totally blew me away!

PRAYER MEETING: “WEAPONS OF WARFARE = THE GIFT OF TONGUES”

Funny how the last incident in social media just before coming was about speaking in the spirit. Unfortunately,  I bought into doubt temporarily. Funny thing is that that’s the topic we talked about between prayers. There are no coincidences!

PRAYER MEETING: 1st… 11 Cor 10:3-5 For though we live in the world we do not rage war as the world does. 4. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Yes, I should have listened regarding quarrels.

Then I heard that still small voice “Take off your hat”. At 1st I doubted is that you? (Ugh, OK, but I’m self conscious, I have no cash for a hair cut my hair trimmers died, man I wish I left it at home and fixed it somehow before coming,) making excuses, (but OK,) I thought to myself. I did temporarily between prayers. As I held my head down and covered it with my hands.
biblehub.com/1_kings/19-12.htm

PRAYER MEETING: 2nd we discover in 1 Cor 14:1-4 that flowing tongues edifies the believer because where we____ are to God.

As I continued praying in the spirit. I asked God, (If this is from you please have Jim repeat what he just said.)

PRAYER MEETING: It’s worship it’s prayer and as it builds the one who releases it.

Jim continued on praying and did not repeat what he said. He mentioned having faith, WOAH! I did and continued on anyhow.

PRAYER MEETING: 3rd It’s suggested from Luke 10:17-21 that even Jesus spoke in tongues?

God spoke to me again, “Take off your hat until prayer is finished” (but, but, …. OK) so I did.

PRAYER MEETING: HOW DO BELIEVERS RECEIVE THE FLOW IN THE GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT see Luke 11:13 “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give the holy spirit to those who ask him!” Well let’s just ask him right now… Feel free to pause and do so if you are reading this!

Than Jim repeated himself saying exactly what he said earlier. WOW God is good!

God spoke to me again; “Lift up your hands when you pray (but my wrist is sore & I’m tired” OK, fine.) After I did, flashes of images of someone holding a staff or rod over a high ledge looking down on a massive battle below for some reason.. I’m not sure but I think it may have been Joshua? I’ll google it later. If so, I totally have to draw what I saw! It was absolutely crazy! This here is close to this image I found, but from behind him, more enclosed and circular from where he stood:

PRAYER MEETING: WEAPONS OF WARFARE SINGING IN THE SPIRIT (Tongues)
1st The Bible teaches that the term “singing in or with my spirit is actually singing in tongues..

“Will you be a fool for me” (OK, yes, yes, I will be a fool for you.) BOOOOM! I  bellowed out hysterically laughing for several minutes. (at 1st I was embarrassed but I let it go, that and I couldn’t stop it) LOL

PRAYER MEETING: read 1 Cor 14:14-15 read Ephesians 5:18-19.. read Colossians 3:16
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Cor+14%3A14-15%2C+Ephesians+5%3A18-19%2C+Colossians+3%3A16&version=KJV

Later someone mentioned about being a fool. BOOM I broke out in laughter again

Hebrews 13:15 “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that openly profess his name.”

It’s sacrifice of praise that is powerful in a few ways:

a Volition sacrifice when don’t: want to..

(it’s funny because as I’m typing this out, I’m tired, hungry and don’t want to. He told me when I got home; “Don’t eat” because he wanted me to write in this journal. I was also hesitant about posting this because I could see this starting religious fights online but I will be obedient because HE told me to do so.

333-gbtr_

an Emotional sacrifice when don’t: feel like it..

Funny how Jim came outside as I was heading to the van to make sure I write this down in my journal. Then Lynn turned to me as I said I love confirmation, “Yes Rob, right it down before you lose it.)

a Temporal sacrifice when you don’t think you have: time to worship..

Guilty as charged.

a Mental sacrifice when you don’t actually: know what you are saying

Not anymore. LOL Oh, and we prayed for understanding.

How about you and how about now…?

This entire time I kept on making these deep breaths. Why do I keep taking such deep breaths? God says “I’m filling you with my strength”.

I tried to share everything that happened in the meeting that night. God did so much I hope I didn’t miss anything. Doubt, Obedience, BAM, Confirmation, Fear, Obedience, BAM, Confirmation, over and over and over again the entire night.

When I did share they mentioned a song of worship; “I will become even more undignified than this, humiliated in my own eyes”. Later just before leaving Dianne told me about what happened to King David. WOW!

*BE CAREFUL ABOUT THAT MOCKING SPIRIT!
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Samuel+6%3A12-23&version=KJV

On my way home I was talking to Lynn about everything that happened. Several people had different visions including red carpet, the number 8 which is new beginning, finances as well as what Lynn shared regarding the sword he found in his building at the bottom of the stairs. He picked it up to take to the office and when he got in the elevator the cops were there looking for it. In the meeting he shared how God spoke to him about the sword. I also saw a vision of binding chains and cuffs being broken.
http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/8.html

Bound in chains no longer, this is a new beginning, God is rolling out the red carpet and will provide finances for our ministries and is taking the weapons from the enemy and handing them over to us.

WOW! JUST WOW! GOD IS AWESOME!

Did I mention that just enough money was donated? I had my final notice for website renewal and now my cell is reconnected as well! Time to let go of being uncomfortable in pictures and video. NOW it’s TIME to get busy. PRAISE GOD!

I also remembered the last time I was beaten down. I didn’t even care anymore because I was so desperate. I dropped in the middle of my kitchen face down on the floor weeping in front of everyone crying out for God to help me.

Then I told Lynn as we continued home. “I know what HE has in store I know whats coming. I have heard the Prophesies and seen FLASHES and Visions myself of what is to come, to be used as vessel for his glory.”

This reminded me also of what I was told by God through a friend. “You are coming to a fork in the road in your life soon. You will have to choose between 2 paths. 1 is fame and fortune, the other will be hard and lonely, but their will be souls, many souls.”

I want to to do drop down on my face and worship anywhere. Who cares if it’s in the middle of a restaurant, on the street, or in a mall.. or even work..

FATHER, WHATEVER, WHENEVER, YOU WANT ME TO DO, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

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9 responses to “Insecure Pride; I Will Become Even More Undignified Than This!

  1. You claim you need to be careful of that mocking spirit, but that is about all you have done to me since I disagreed with you on that “no forests on flat trees” video, you spent how long arguing with me about it? Only to finally watch it (what–you didn’t watch it before arguing?), and admit I was right. Did you set that right in public? Of course not, because you had spent too much time mocking in front of everyone. You sir, are a hypocrite and a liar.
    Ad of course, this is long before you got mad at me for ‘preaching grace’ instead of works and sent me a PM saying that grace was equal to bovine fecal matter.
    No wonder you had a dream (supposedly) about “an entity in your head”. I’m convinced you do have one, and it isn’t the holy spirit like you keep trying to say it is.

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      • He’s a liar and pretends he is the victim. So maybe you should remain silent since you do not know the full story.
        Rob Baxter tried to make jokes about harm befalling my children because I disagreed with him. He mocked in public. Then when he realized he was wrong, he apologized (lol) in private. Then he makes this long-winded blog post pretending he’s so victorious while sending atrocious private messages, and outright lying on his little NowYou(dont’)SeeTV appearance about our exchange. Maybe you missed that. Oh that’s right–you did–because you don’t know the full story.
        He also sent me a message complaining about “Grace” because he is a fake jew that preaches the law and has posted in the past from islamic blogs. He said he was “sick of christians preaching more grace bullshit”.
        He has posted several times about God’s Grace being part of a “satanic paradigm”.
        Sorry, but that is antichrist.
        You need to wake up on who you are following. You are deceived and need to actually read the Bible and pray for discernment.

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      • I’m not saying he’s perfect or that you don’t have a legitimate grievance. I can’t know the truth without having experienced it…but that’s beside the point. I have enough of my own problems to worry about others disputes. My point was just that it’s cringe worthy to see someone air their dirty laundry in public. And be careful…resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

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      • Again, you are apparently having comprehension problems. He makes these sort of posts after sending hateful messages, so I’m not airy dirty laundry. He is.
        He’s not perfect? I never claimed his was. Go back and re-read what I said. I said he is a liar and exhorts anti-christ doctrine. Try a different circumlocution or deflection tactic, maybe graduate to using a full on non-sequitur fallacy.
        Then you stated that “cannot know the truth without having experienced it”. No dice. Isn’t that what my reply said? Are you really trying to backpedal now and pretend I won’t notice it?

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