I recently awoke from this nightmare; the blender of going to hell & back.
I later found out in chats & comments that The Creator had many people intercede. Someone close to me said something & my heart shattered into a million pieces:
My Father also had my Pastor Jim Paul https://www.facebook.com/JamesGPaul Intercede for me at that moment. Jim said he felt deep pain & that he had intense deep groaning’s. I immediately Googled: “Groaning & Bible” & this is what I found; “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” WOW!
So now I am analyzing the timeline so that I may learn from all of this. I recall assisting with church planting in Pakistan & their area was surrounded by Muslims where this gentlemen found Yeshua/ Jesus but had to hide his faith. We were doing an online church in his house after dinner so that he could pack it to the brim with fellow believers & then this happened to me the night before:
BOOM! There it is!
Now here I am again, UGH! After what 3 months of torment I am back & realizing I slacked in the “Radical Love” https://calmcrash.wordpress.com/2015/09/04/radical-love-spiritual-headship-my-familiar-spirit-the-spirit-of-infirmity/ department & pretty much EVERYTHING else. Oy vey! I show up & JUST as I walk in Jim is talking about “signs” and how God will tell you what HE has planned but you don’t always get it right away.
Immediately, I flashback to the Prophetic words about computers & work that was given to me. There were 3 people who said the same thing to me who lived in different parts of the world, don’t know each other and were spoken at separate locations & times. Somewhere in that madness I was furious as all these injuries & when carpal tunnel kicked in I totally lost it! How the heck am I supposed to do construction & renovations now? Never mind that it hurts to hold a mouse even for a few clicks.
Now that the dust has finally settled, here I am reflecting. How did I end up here?
I remember when it was just me & The Big Guy in my room for 2 years https://calmcrash.wordpress.com/2015/08/01/richard-dawkins-sexual-abuse-a-deeper-rooted-issue/ & just after he led me to a home fellowship I had a wedding to attend. At the bust stop on the way I was hit by Abba’s Spirit. HE told me not to go. I knew why but argued; “it’s my best friend’s wedding I have to go!” and so I did.
I showed up at the wedding & 1 glass of Spirit Wine led to another & to another etc. I knew I couldn’t have only 1 from dealing with this issue in the past. The music was also obviously Spiritually Defiling. For 2 weeks I went from ecstatic & on fire carrying the good book & news wherever I went very subtly to a dark hazy oppressive melancholy state of mind. When several weeks had passed a light bulb came on & I said to myself; “wait, what’s going on?”
So the next week I repented & rejoined fellowship. A soon as I walk in Jim looks at me & says; “someone using Witchcraft, in your family has thrown a hex on you”. (No comment, but confirmed) I literally felt this thing being pulled out over the top of my head & BANG it was gone!
After when I arrived at home I was all ticked off. I was LIVID! I thought I was invincible now?
So I asked him & HE told me: “IT’S LIKE POKING HOLES IN MY UMBRELLA”. I sighed as I hung my head. OK I get it now! The Enemy is the Legalist & slicker than any Wall Street Lawyer.
Flash forward & back to this last round, there were other Prophetic Words as well. Many of these recent attacks were from Jezebel Spirits. (No comment, but confirmed) New Agers have also been using that Goobely Gark wording combined with Crystals which has been akin to Witchcraft against me. (I’m almost positive I know who, though their intentions may have been pure it’s still demonic power from the wrong Source.) And once again, speaking of, Witchcraft attacks again to boot. Later, someone else pulled my aside & told me privately that I opened Legal Doors. They were things I have looked at & that I need to be careful & close them. I knew immediately precisely what she/ HE meant!
I get life throws you curve balls & some issues are environmental but some was self-induced & could have been avoided if I had only listened. I even put myself into debt again. I knew better:
When the snowball that had gained momentum going down this hill of insanity all went down I kicked my boat, broke my toe, my foot is swollen & I’m back in crutches again. LOL In retrospect I am soooo happy! Though I should have avoided in doing so in that way, the anger motivated me to focus on where I wanted to be in my life. It snapped me into clarity, breaking me out of the ice burg, to my knees & back into the PROTECTION & loving arms of my Father.
I went back & opened just about every door just recently.
If you have ANY “Open doors” close them. Don’t open ANY! Save yourself & others around you from turmoil & a broken toe. LOL