This is a Public Apology:
Unfortunately, there are too many names to list. Some people I may have hurt that I am unaware of, whatsoever.
I was convicted by the Holy Spirit this weekend at my local home church. It’s a small group of 12 leaders lead by Jim Paul a humble yet powerful prophetic man of The Creator.
“Relationship Subtly Faded”
I had been beating down my brothers and sisters for beating on others because they possibly have been beat on as well? That’s ludicrous! I no longer want to partake in this vicious cycle of madness! LOVE over Religion, always.
For those of you who have been patient with me in my biggest weakness, which has caused me to backslide into sin; THANK YOU!
I stated that breaking my foot was the BEST thing that has happened to me. I wasn’t kidding at all! And when the power went out I finally opened my bible again! Spiritual conviction hit me immediately via Jeremiah 16.
When I 1st spoke out publicly, I was reading and worshiping 3x a day. Excluding research and up until the power went out, it was almost 6 months before I opened it and meditated. I refuse to let religious spirits blow out my flames of passion and drive me away from my relationship again!
I have a major issue I have dealt with since I began to connect with other Christians in social media. I believe I have found where the root of this all began.
When I was in grade school I hung out with a variety of clicks. I was athletic, a geek and all the way to hanging around my best friends; the outcasts. However, I preferred to be alone as I am an INFP.
Whenever I saw anyone picking on or beating up others, like those in grade 9 I would see picking on the grade 4’s, I would jump in to defend them immediately. I have always tried to help people. Even if they were twice my size.
FREE KENT HOVIND
On occasion it would progress to physical violence. The first time I ever drew blood was after breaking someones nose. I was sent to the principles office. I have never told the principal that it was his son I was defending to this day. I knew then what I know now. Just because they drew 1st blood doesn’t give me the right to return the favor!
“Fighting this Battle with Scripture”
I asked The Creator how to deal with this situation. “Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee” began playing over and over in my head. OH, the irony! LOL
I was up all Saturday night baling about this scenario. He has moved on this weakness heavily in my spirit lately. During fellowship we began studying Matthew 5:3-5. Needless to say, I began baling at every pause as we stopped at to analyze and take this back to the original text.
I have always been extremely emotional, good or bad. I’m hyper sensitive and I assume that’s why one of my spiritual gifts are “Intercession”?
Prophetic words were given about religious spirits and I finally have my scripture to memorize!
“The MEEK shall Inherit the Earth”
This issue had bothered me so much because of my loss of self-control. I even let my daughter change my password to my Facebook account until I could resolve this because of my slipping. After church, I non “coincidentally” ended up under Chris Lesley’s latest video:
I noticed several opposing views under his video and a stranger, but brother, who was loosing his patience. I’m only assuming it’s because he’s been fighting evolution for some time which is understandable. Who really knows? Maybe his mom died of cancer or son was hit by a bus? I try to remember these are real people with real feelings and real life issues. Normally I would have confronted him. There is hope for me yet!
I jumped in and asked the opposing view to look at what many other non creationists are saying and as a Civil Engineer, the mainstream views are ridiculous.
He apologized and I told him what I was going through as well and asked him to join REAL GIANTS.
We connected on Facebook, had several good private conversations. I hope some day he to can come to know The Creator. “The meek shall inherit the earth.”
Why can’t I treat my brothers and sisters with the same empathy and compassion? The church is where the broken and damaged congregate and flock towards. Some are going through hell on earth and others just came into the kingdom yesterday.
Jim Whilhelmsen https://www.facebook.com/jim.wilhelmsen.1 shared an excellent testimony recently which was perfect for what I needed to hear. He was visiting a group of kids. The leader, who all the young impressionable minds look to for counsel and guidance attacked him on some non essentials. The Holy Spirit told Jim to leave it alone because if he did respond it was only going to damage the children. BOOOM! There it is!
Monday night Jim messaged me and told me he was opening Pal Talk back up that night. I was ecstatic!
The message he shared hit home again. We need to set aside our minor differences and work together for what is “coming up on the earth”. He’s right! There is waaay to much at stake!
For those that hurt me, I forgive and release you. For those I hurt, I am truly sorry! Some day, when you are ready, please forgive me and set yourself free. Bitterness can hold you back from your true potential and purpose.
I won’t let this have power over me any longer. Time for me to drop my boxing gloves and use my hands to heal instead. It was prophesied over me long ago; time to fulfill my purpose and destiny.